[2026/03/31]

Maret 2026

Hellooo!

It’s my birth month! Growing up as a huge introvert I actually never really celebrated my birthday with anyone. I remembered that I had a class birthday party once when I was seven years old or something, but that was it. This year, I wanted to try to do something that I could be happy about, so I hung out with a few friends over video chat, and we each got cake slices to eat together while we talked about random nonsense I don’t remember. It was mostly just them talking I think. I was always more of a listener. Here’s the cake slices I got: they are chocolate, tiramisu and black forest. I actually bought too much cake, and it took me a week to finish all of it. I think they were quite nice though.

We watched a movie together. We didn’t have a particular one in mind so we streamed Grave of the Fireflies. Holy shit, it really is as depressing as people said. My first exposure to this movie was when a friend recently told me that when they were a kid, and their father first watched this movie, it affected him so much that at the end of the movie he just looked at his kid and cried or something, so I did already have an expectation that it will be sad before going in.

I think that animation as a medium is the only thing that could capture the bleakness and the sadness of being orphans struggling during wartime. I’m not sure if the same sadness could be captured with a live action set, or if real child actors accurately portray the sadness that Setsuko and Seita do. It’s difficult to swallow that there’s so many kids out there like the ones in this movie who never really got a shot at life in the present day. It's one of those things that makes you weirdly grateful for your current circumstances..

Do I recommend this movie? Yeah. Will I ever watch it again? No.

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On a lighter note, working so much has led me to being able to save a little bit of money, so I’ve been able to justify buying trivial stuff a bit more, like stationery to mail to friends or video game merchandise. It’s nice to be able to buy stuff when you’re a working adult. Now that I’m thinking about it, your worst adult days don’t feel as bad as how your worst teenage days do. Like, a bad day as an adult means being a little late to pay your taxes, or having to go to the doctor, the post office, and the grocery store all in one day, or doing something just normally tiring for everyone, which makes sense. But your worst teenage days are always some shit like, your parents yelling at each other and slamming doors at 10pm while you’re trying to sleep so you don’t do badly on the stupid math exam you have at school tomorrow. Or having to deal with people older than you constantly asserting their financial/parental/material control over you and you being powerless to stop it or do anything. Or your friends ganging up on you and you have nowhere to go and no one to talk to since everyone’s sharing the same friend group, and then rumours about you start spreading around said friend group, and then drama starts to happen... Just a few scenarios off the top of my head.

It’s crazy to think that all those talks about how “it gets better when you’re older” when you were a suicidal teenager turns out to be true. The worst day in your adult years don’t hold a candle to the worst day in your teenage years. If you’re in those horrible, ugly teenage years, just keep trudging through. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Anyway, I’ve been playing the Tomodachi demo, and it’s real fun. I made myself and my friends. Can’t wait for the full game. I’m fully prepared to drop sixty USD on it. Why are video games so fucking expensive now? I don’t get it. It would be nicer if AAA video game companies did country-specific pricing like steam does (I’m paying less than ten USD for each game on there), but I guess not. I think it’s okay to gaslight yourself into splurging on things you really want, so in the end, it's okay. I got Miitopia when the game dropped, and I enjoyed it immensely, so I have high hopes for this game. Can’t wait to see V1 from Ultrakill interact with Hatsune Miku.

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I’m in the process of renovating the site! Well, I’ve been testing it out a little at the very least. Yesterday, I sat down in front of the computer and coded for thirteen hours nonstop, just brainstorming and testing out ideas on an updated site layout, and I think all that testing really cemented the fact that I want to make a new and improved amfmradio dot org. I really like this current version, and I have so many people complimenting it all the time, which makes me super happy! But I’ve got some major gripes with it right now. Here’s just a few problems I have:

1. The lack of mobile friendliness. I know no one really cares about mobile compatibility on personal sites very much. I don’t either. But as I’m slowly but surely moving on from social media, as it’s just no fun for me anymore, I want a place on the internet I can be a control freak about while having it be accessible to a lot of people, and so I’m now forced to have to learn how to make shit mobile friendly just in case someone in real life asks me for my Instagram and I have to be like, “Oh yeah man, here, let me pull up my site on my phone!”

2.The lack of changing URLs. I love the single-page format, but it’s starting to become annoying when I have to link blogposts to friends. I had no intentions of writing when I first started this site, so it wasn’t a concern to me before, but it’s getting more and more irritating everyday, so I think that I’ll have to make a separate page for each tab now.

3.The flag counter seems to not show up on certain browsers. I’ll have to replace it with something else. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t realize that to the left of you right now, there is a flag counter. It’s a lot of fun watching the number go up—not a lot of fun seeing a major blank space on the left of my site for no reason on certain computer screens!

4.I’ve had a few people say they had issues loading my gallery art icons. Not sure why exactly, since each icon is only 90x90 pixels wide… But I want there to be a scrollable format to see all of my drawings more easily rather than having to click on each icon to see a drawing. I will say though—and this is a MAJOR if—I hate how modern social media makes people brainlessly scroll, and I don't want people to scroll brainlessly through my drawings the same way. If you wanna look at them, then click on an icon and wait for it to load. Like the Deviantart days. I’ll sit on this decision for a bit, but I have the gallery code locked and loaded if I decide to go through with the idea.

5.A handful of QOL updates are in need. Working RSS feed, webrings being more accessible, nicer site buttons...

All in all, I just need to make some fixes all over to make the site run better.

Problem is, I think if I’m to achieve all of this, I have to do more than just HTML and CSS. I have to learn… JS… Kill me… I’ve been trying to avoid it for so long, but every day it inches closer and closer to being something I need to learn. Can anyone teach me? Or console me? I hate having to learn things. I usually patch shit together like sticks and glue and hope it works (that’s how it was teaching myself to draw without really learning the fundamentals. I still struggle with drawing because of that). I should’ve taken computer classes when I was a teen, but I wanted the path of least resistance, and I always picked science classes instead (I’ve always assumed I was stupid with computers). That bullshit sure didn’t help me either, because I still don’t understand anatomy when I draw.

Now, if only I could get over this stupid cough/flu I keep having lately (I’m getting real sick of being sick!) and finally have the time to start working on the projects I actually care about. I suspect that I can finish the second version of this site by the end of the year, but it’ll take a few months at the very least.

Thanks for reading, and see you in April! Seriously. I won’t have time to do any coding/updating until the end of April. I’m still in the process of sending out contest results via email too... Okay. All of you better miss my updates while I’m gone. Peace!